Thursday, December 17, 2009

Ugly Truth about PY

Hi! I’m Pacu, Yuli, Ann, Young, Campbell, Levi, Julie, Anot, etc.

I have hundred of thousands of other names but for now call me Py.

I believe I’m dumb and genius at the same time.

I understand that you could find this enigma as bizarre.

Foremost, nothing of me is original.

I am a combination of everything that I had come across.

My thoughts have been greatly influence by my experiences.

I’ve been abusing my eyes lately.

As much as I want to own reading glasses, I opt to deprive my self on seeing clearly

because I don’t want to give people an opportunity to blame me on a problem

that I myself had caused. Yes, high pride has been killing me softly.

I am never proud on my rotten behaviors.

I have done a lot of stupid things (beyond your imagination) in the past that I wish I didn’t do.

I was very mischievous and am now very apologetic especially to my parents of the things that they have and not yet known.

I was raised by entertaining only what is necessary.

I am full of guilt whenever I get what I want.

At times, I feel that I have no right to be happy.

I always envy those people who have the freedom to chase on what they want.

I always thought that things that would land on my lap as I want it but these days life has been successfully throwing frustrations on me.

I always find it burden whenever my parents contradict my decisions.

They are my weakness.

The greatest resolution of every disappointment is the realization that my family is always there for me.

They are my strength.

I appreciate my parents more that I could ever tell them.

In every gloomy occasion, I always wish that my Uncle Edwin is still alive.

He does not ask what happened nor give advice.

He just hugs me, in his arms I find comfort.

I prefer to be alone but lie to everyone that I don’t feel lonely.

I like it when I’m down because I have no other way to go but up.

I like it when I have nothing because that would mean I have nothing to loss but only to gain

My heart has been broken and I had broken hearts couple of times but I never consider myself as broken.

I would often find it surreal when people to good things for me. I have this fear of loving as it would equate hurting yet I’m willing to take the risks.

Pleasing others does not please my self at all.

I easily get hurt. To amend, I only let few people enter my heart.

I try to put too much caution on choosing people whom to love.

Few people to cherish (who would eventually hurt me on one way or another),

the less pain whenever they give cause me disappointments.

To be honest, this life strategy has not yet given me good results.

I easily forgive but never ever forget.

I have this belief that once people offend and disappoint me, they will do it again and again and again.

Trust me, holding grudge is the least that I want to do.

I label a person a friend whenever my instinct tells me that she’s a good person.

I never regret of befriending anyone, so far.

There are a lot of things that I wish to do.

My greatest fear would be failure As a kid, I had dreams to be a businesswoman who owns number of establishment,

flight steward who travels the world, scuba diver who invades atlantis, a healer who heals the sick,

educator who teaches kids how to read and write blog, photographer who preserves ecstatic moments

and an inspiration to others. I know it will come true, someday.

My greatest dream is to provide a life for my family that is full of happiness and free from worries and necessity to make sacrifices.

I put great efforts on trying to be a good Christian, I often fail though

I have come to a realization that I have chosen to be miserable by often making horrible decisions.

These days, I want to avoid expectations. I wish people will just be surprised on my achievements.

I am never satisfied with my accomplishments, some of my abilities remain static and refuse to progress.

Resolving hat issue has been my longest battle so far.

I could be an epitome of imperfection but I strongly believe that I have done some things that merit.

Waking up each day is a sign to me that I am not a finish product of nature,

a lot of things to improve, a lot of things to amend.

I am always hopeful of things that are bigger and greater, so I’m keeping my faith.